Now that Father’s Day is on its way this June 21, you may be feeling uneasy as a newly recovering alcoholic dad. Whether it’s due to being away from your children during the holiday or having feelings of guilt associated with your disease, you can’t ignore the fact that you’ve been working on yourself to get better.
Happy Father's Day
You’re Not the Same Alcoholic Dad You Were Before
As an alcoholic dad, there’s no denying you were likely to have fallen short when active in your drinking. You probably told your children you were going to be there for them emotionally, financially, and literally by attending recitals, competitions, sports games, activities, concerts, and all the like. However, alcohol was your master. You were being directed by the substance’s every notion and you had to abide. There was no way out because, as an alcoholic active in addiction, you were absolutely and completely powerless. It didn’t matter how much you loved your children or how much you wanted to see them in all of their shining glory on stage in a tutu at their dance recital or score the winning goal in a soccer game. The bottle was calling your name, but this year is different because you dove into serious self-work. You took the moral inventory and shared your story with another human being. You saw where you were selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, and fearful. Pinpointing where these themes cast themselves in bold throughout your life was pivotal and the greatest part about it was that you were given the opportunity to make changes by clearing the wreckage of your past away and making amends. You can’t go back in time and magically appear at all of the places you said you would be but didn’t show up at. You can however start keeping your word when you make promises. People like your children for example may not believe you at first but when they begin to recognize that you are as good as your word and reliable as a human being, that is substantial. That proves you have changed.
Children who refuse to make contact
It can be difficult if you are a recovering alcoholic dad who has children that refuse to make contact with you, especially on Father’s Day. Try to remember that sometimes these circumstances change, but even if they don’t, it is not in your best interest to try to control the situation anyway. It’s important to realize that you didn’t become addicted to alcohol in one day, so the process of recovery isn’t going to be as easy as that either. Addiction is a family disease and healing from this may take some time. Giving family members the appropriate amount of time they need to deal with the arising emotions they are feeling can be an important yet difficult part of the process.
Father’s Day can stir up a great deal of emotions, particularly if you’re a newly recovering alcoholic dad. Remember not to beat yourself up this year and instead re-shift your focus to the areas which you have triumphed over. It’s your day as a changed dad, so celebrate yourself and all that you’ve become!