Are you in lust or love this Valentine’s Day? Constantly wrapping your head around a person nonstop could mean either of these two terms, but the question is which one? Telling the difference between them can become increasingly difficult at times. If you’re feeling isn’t a genuine love for the person but instead a manifestation of a far worse obsession, this unhealthy addiction can grow catastrophic. Ultimately, your life may grow completely unmanageable as a result.
Take this quiz to help you take a look at better determining whether your feelings are genuine or not.
Is It Lust or Love?
What best describes your feelings toward the person?
A) I enjoy quality time with the person and want to be open.
B) I want the relationship but only on my terms.
C) There is only physical attraction and I want to leave without talking about feelings.
How do you feel after having not spent a couple days together?
A) Although we enjoy time together, it’s okay that we have time apart for ourselves.
B) I’m sad we can’t be together all the time.
C) We spend every day together.
If the person contacts you to get together, what is most likely to end up happening?
A) We try to keep our recoveries separate so we can spend quality time by going out for an evening to dinner or to a movie.
B) The person walks right beside me inside to a meeting.
C) We are in the back row of a meeting sitting next to each other talking, holding hands, and being promiscuous in public.
Have you ever been introduced to their family and/or friends?
A) Yes I have or I would like to be in the future
B) I met a couple, but the rest I know from social networks or photographs
C) I’m not really interested in meeting any people in this person’s life
Describe the ideal timeline of the relationship:
A) I’d like for us to remain the way we are for a while but my happiness is not contingent on the length of the relationship.
B) I think that we’re meant to be.
C) Oh, we’re just having fun.
When you have a disagreement, what are your first thoughts?
A) I need to calm down, gather my thoughts, and get feedback from another sober support before continuing the conversation to try to work it out.
B) I should apologize and do whatever I have to do in order to get our relationship back on track so we stay together.
C) I won’t worry about it now because we will kiss and make up later.
What do you refer to the person as?
A) My boyfriend/girlfriend
B) My friend who I’ve been dating or hang out with
C) Just a guy/girl
What best describes the type of relationship with the person?
A) It’s like we are running at the same pace in a race where I could look over and the person is beside me parallel with me.
B) It’s like we are yo-yo’s because we constantly have to be pulling one another up since one of us is always down.
C) It’s like we are cut off from the rest of the world because all we do is separate from society, get together, and then go back to our own lives when we aren’t together.
What would you change about the person?
A) I wouldn’t change them. If something was going wrong in the relationship, I might need to change something in me or my perception.
B) I would want more time for us.
C) I would want more attention.
Do they give you respect?
A) We have mutual respect.
B) The person tries but they get frustrated with me often.
C) The person has no respect for themselves so they don’t for me either.
Okay, now it’s time to see if you are in lust or love! Add your A’s, B’s, and C’s.
A= 20 points
B= 10 points
C= 0 points
The higher the score you got, the more likely it is that you have experienced a more genuine sense of love! Unfortunately that means the lower the score you got, the more likely it is that you are in the midst of being in lust. If you found yourself in the middle you might be dealing with some sticky codependency issues, so watch out! Remember, this is only for entertainment purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. If you do think that you might have a real issues with sex, love, and codependency, there are fellowships like Codependents Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Only can know if you are engaging in an unhealthy behavior and only you can change and do something about it.