As we move closer to the Holidays I would say it’s generally for me a time of sharing good things (especially food). I will be the first to admit that I used to “roll my eyes” at the idea of writing a gratitude list. This was mostly out of fear that when I wrote out the list that my life still wouldn’t look all that great. However today I know that I can look forward to what is yet to happen as well. I’ve been through a lot of ups and downs in recovery and today I can say that I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned and all the times where I have been able to change my thought and look at the good. That good begins with what I am experiencing “right now.” Which means that I get to be present and allow my awareness to be on something else other than the problem.
While I was a resident at the Watershed on Thanksgiving of 2010 I remember that I felt alone as this was the first time I was physically away from any family for a major holiday. I’ve had social anxiety for a number of years and even though I had spent the last 30 days with a bunch of other drug addicts and alcoholics I still didn’t think I knew how to act on a holiday so my plan was to isolate. However this plan got blown up when an employee (who shall remain nameless) locked me out of my apartment and told me that I needed to socialize with the other residents. What came to mind that day was something my dad taught me and that was to just go up and ask people “How are you doing?” Don’t we all just LOVE to talk about ourselves!! So my gratitude begins with me taking action to do what I can to help someone else even if its just the simple act of listening. I’ve been given a new affirmation to repeat: “I am available to more good that I can possibly imagine!”
by Jason J.