Greetings Alumni and Families!
Once again I seem to find myself in a place where I believe it is time for me to embark upon another growth spurt. Since coming into recovery some years back, this period of time consisting of feelings and emotions, is a reoccurring process which I can honestly say I seem to fight every time. Why is change, even in the littlest sense, such a scary thing for me? It’s not like God ever left me stranded to figure things out on my own. Nope, he was always there at each and every doorway, showing me the way to a more peaceful existence. Yet for whatever reason, I feel the need to try every other door first, before conceding there is door right in front of my eyes with a blinking neon sign labeled, “This is the way to freedom.” “Free Will” they call it; a gift that God decided to give to human beings. We, unlike any other creature, have this Will - and boy does it get in my way.
Not to say I’m not grateful for the gift of Free Will, but when I am attempting to utilize it upon selfish motives, what a disaster it can be. Let’s take a deeper look into this thing they call free….is it? What is free about having the choice to make decisions on a daily basis that may or may not affect myself and others, in positive and negative ways? That sounds like a price to me. For instance, the decision to use had a drastic affect on my life and the lives around me for several years, so I wouldn’t exactly say that utilizing my Free Will was actually free. Nope it came with a lot of consequences. Just as the decision to get sober has had an affect in a positive way - yet even then, there was a definite price to be paid.
When digging a little deeper, I discovered that Free Will does have a price, and it does come with a lot of responsibility. God allows us this privilege in hopes that we will use it wisely. When I am utilizing it in the way in which it was intended, my life is in direct line with God’s and runs rather smoothly. When I am utilizing my will in a way that is not in line with God’s, I become full of doubt, fear and worry. Seems like a simple concept then, right? Stay in line with God’s will and then all will be well. The crazy part is this is exactly where my struggles begin. Because of this Free Will, I don’t always choose to be in line with God, and sometimes enjoy being completely out of whack. It is then that I see why we have the will to choose; if we didn’t we couldn’t grow. We would remain stagnant and disinterested. Human minds and souls need to grow, and we need to make mistakes in order to do so. Free Will is that door that allows us the freedom to change, so I guess the Free part refers to the Freedom, and the Will belongs to the Willingness to change. So after all, Free Will may just be the most exhilarating experience a human being can have.
Got a few minutes? Check out some of these great articles!
A New Sober Life by Cory M.
A Wife's Gratitude by Carol R.
Stop Comparing and Identify by John C
Hope you're having a wonderful summer!